Today was day 11 of the Whole 30 journey I’ve embarked on…
…and all I want is a fucking burrito. Or sandwich. Or sushi. Or chocolate.
Dramatics aside, it’s been rough so far, but doable. I’m definitely eating more fats to keep myself satiated, and the only animal proteins I eat are shrimp and tuna a few times a week.
Before beginning this challenge, my friend Breanna gave me a copy of the Whole 3o Day by Day journal. Writing in it each day and reading the timeline of feelings and symptoms has kept me grounded in this process. The book stresses that there’s no such thing as a perfect Whole 30, and I’ve definitely made a few mistakes and have bent the rules slightly to accommodate my plant-based diet. On day 8, I completely spaced on the fact that I was doing Whole 30 and I had a few sips of bubbly wine. As soon as I realized it, I had to face a dilemma: finish the wine, or put the cup down. It pained me to do so, but I put the cup down. I realized, though, that just the few sips I had was enough to still give me a mild wine headache and buzzed feeling- proof that this elimination plan is changing the way I handle certain foods and sugars.
Besides the cravings that come and go depending on the day, my biggest frustration right now is with the uncertainty and the trust I have to put in the program: the rules discourage measuring portions and tracking calories and it forbids stepping on the scale during the duration of the program. This has been hard for me; I was beginning to count my calories before I started because as much as I want to eat intuitively, I struggle and counting calories is the most reliable way for me to practice portion control. I also typically weigh myself weekly, and so the change in diet (from higher carbs to higher fats) has me worried about the calories of my meals and if I’m gaining weight.
However, I believe recognizing those insecurities and frustrations are a normal part of Whole 30; I may want to throw a fit and eat some chips and sweets, but I am giving this program my best effort. I’ve committed to the 30 days and though I don’t know yet how I want to approach the reintroduction period that follows, I get through each day as it comes.
I’m a third of the way done- and I am intent on checking off the day 30 box at the end.